Dogma meets very familiar songs
by Fallenwriter
Summary: The characters of Dogma sing songs! While keeping a positive attitude! ^.^; Read! Loki would want you too!
1. Loki sings and Bartleby doesn't

Loki: Another hero.  
  
Bartleby: Huh?  
  
Loki: Another mindless crime.  
  
Bartleby: You do that pal!  
  
Loki: Behind the curtain.  
  
Bartleby: What curtain? Are you high or something?  
  
Loki: In the pantomime. on and on, does anybody know what we are living for  
  
Bartleby: You know where technically not living but do go on!  
  
Loki: Whatever happens, we leave it all to chance  
  
Bartleby: why am I stuck with someone like you? You are an idiot!  
  
Loki: *Stops singing* Hey, I'm not the one who secretly loves Felicity!  
  
Bartleby: Hey! You've been reading my diary *Clutches diary to chest* I won't let Mr. Loki hurt you, no I wont, no I wont  
  
Loki: Ok.. *starts singing again* another heartache, another failed romance  
  
Bartleby: Kind of like you and that chick in Wisconsin! You knew it would never work out!  
  
Loki: Yeah, between her finding out I was once an instrument of God and I didn't have a dick.  
  
Bartleby: What yah gonna do!  
  
Loki: Exactly!  
  
Bartleby: Do continue singing you have a wonderful voice. How come you have never sung before?  
  
Loki: Dunno! *Starts singing* on and on, does anybody know what we are living for-  
  
Bartleby: Hold up, I hear something-  
  
*pulls out a young girl from thin air*  
  
Girl: Oh hi! I'm the writer!  
  
Loki and Bartleby: ..  
  
Girl: I made you in this story?  
  
Loki: Where a story? Huh?  
  
Girl: look, you guys are ruining it by dragging me into it so can you please put me back?  
  
Bartleby: Sure! What the hell! *Throws girl back into void* Weird.  
  
Loki: That's weird?! We're a couple of fallen angels!  
  
Bartleby: whatever, continue  
  
Loki: The show must go on!  
  
Bartleby: wait, I thought this was a story?  
  
Loki: That's the song asshole  
  
Bartleby: I see, go on  
  
Loki: The show must go on! Outside the dawn is breaking on the stage that holds out final destiny!  
  
Bartleby: If we did have dicks, how many times do you think we'd have been laid by now?  
  
Loki: You've interrupted me again!  
  
Bartleby: I was just wondering!  
  
Loki: well don't.Jesus! Always whining and bitching about your problems!  
  
Bartleby: No I don't! *pouts*  
  
Loki: hey, you know I can never stay mad at you!  
  
Bartleby: Thanks, but really, how much?  
  
Loki: Bartleby.  
  
Bartleby: FINE!  
  
Loki: much better! The show must go on! The show must go on!  
  
Bartleby: why'd yah stop?  
  
Loki: well a girl sings this part and we don't have a girl and.  
  
Bartleby: I know where we can get one!  
  
*pulls girl out from void*  
  
Girl: What?!  
  
Loki: I need you to sing this part!  
  
Girl: Fine, but only because I wrote this story!  
  
Loki: Yeah!  
  
Bartleby: If I had a dick, would you have sex with me?  
  
Girl: .  
  
Loki: Just sing!  
  
Girl: Inside my heart is breaking, my makeup may be flaking, but my smile still stays on. Happy?  
  
Loki: VERY! *Hugs Coral. I mean girl*  
  
Girl: Well I must me going now!  
  
*Begins to jump back in bur Loki grabs her*  
  
Loki: I need you to sing one more part!  
  
Girl: Fine!  
  
Loki: The show must go on! The show must go on!  
  
Girl: *sigh* I'll top the bill, I'll earn the kill, I have to find the will to carry on.Together now?  
  
Loki: yeah.  
  
Bartleby: what about me?  
  
Loki: Ok!  
  
Bartleby: Aren't I crazy or something?  
  
Loki: Just sing!  
  
All: On with the, on with the, on with the show!  
  
Loki: On with the show!  
  
Bartleby: HA!  
  
Girl: what's so funny!  
  
Bartleby: he's saying on with the show when it is on! Hehe.  
  
Loki: you are the stupid one!  
  
Bartleby: yeah. hey!  
  
Loki: hehe! On with the show! The show. the show must go on!  
  
Bartleby: is it over?  
  
Loki: yes.  
  
Girl: YEAH!  
  
*jumps through void*  
  
Loki: she's nice, let's not kill her  
  
Bartleby: So are you still up to take over the world  
  
Loki: yep, now that I've gotten that out of my system!  
  
Bartleby: Hey, what's that?  
  
Loki: Uh.  
  
*A pig flies by*  
  
Pig: Howdy! I love Ham!  
  
Bartleby and Loki: .  
  
  
  
*************************  
  
Um. that's the first of many Dogma things like this I'll have! Not all of them will be Moulin Rouge songs but I thought it would be funny to have Loki singing that song and Bartleby, well being Bartleby. But anyway, Review, have fun laughing at me etc. The next one will probably be with jay and silent bob. Ok! Well bye! 


	2. Metatron, Rufus, and Jay and silent Bob ...

(Note: This involves the Metatron, Jay and silent Bob, and Rufus. Lord help all of you that read this sad, sad, sad, dialogue)  
  
  
  
Metatron: I'm the Metatron and don't have a clue as to why I am here  
  
  
  
Jay: Me and silent Bob are here to sing this fucked up song we just memorized  
  
  
  
Rufus: Now how in God's name is a silent man going to sing?  
  
  
  
Jay: If you've ever seen the extra's on the Dogma Special edition DVD, which I highly recommend you buy, you'll have seen the fucked up song me and silent Bob sing to our fucked up homies who represented and got fucked up  
  
Metatron: I never knew one could use fuck so many times in one sentence. It is highly disturbing and you'd better stop before I wipe that shit ass smile off your face Jay: All we're trying to do is sing a song and get through this shitty mess someone wrote! How the hell did I even get here?  
  
Silent Bob: *Shrugs shoulders*  
  
Metatron: Do get on with it, I do have stuff to do, I'm ONLY the voice of God!  
  
  
  
Jay: Alright, quit your whining; now this piece of shit is a song sung by some Nicole Kidman and Ewan Mcgregor. Nicole Kidman, she's hot, boy I'd like to- Rufus: enough! Just let the music begin and then we can get this over with  
  
*Music starts*  
  
  
  
Metatron: Never knew I could feel like this.  
  
Jay: Like I've never seen the sky before. what's this shit? I'm not singing about a fucking sky!  
  
Rufus: Damn it, this is a love song. Why is it a fucking love song? *sings* Want to vanish inside your kiss!  
  
Silent Bob: *Shakes head*  
  
Jay: Come on man, you have to sing. You're leaving me with these fucked up God lovers?  
  
Metatron: Excuse me?! I happen to- Every day I'm loving you more and more- Ah screw it  
  
Rufus: Seasons may change, winter to spring- What the? Who the hell wrote this?  
  
Jay: I love you. I don't love that son of a bitch! I bet if I leave this place I won't have to sing anymore. Ah fuck the singing! Screw it like it aint never been screwed before! *Leaves*  
  
Silent Bob: *Makes an "if only" face and leaves with Jay*  
  
Metatron: Good, now MAYBE we can keep the PG-13 rating on this story!  
  
Rufus: Till the end of time  
  
Metatron: Bloody hell, why do I have to sing? I have a respectable job and a good life, well, as good as any angel's life can get, but I mean come on, I can't even consume Fucking Alcohol nor have the simple pleasures of sex once and awhile! Being an angel really does blow! There's another thing I can't have!  
  
Rufus: Let's just finish the song before the end of the world or some shit happens that will have us singing this song for all of eternity. Now THAT would be a hell! Metatron: Amen to that. Oh all right! I'll do it! *Sings flatly* Come what may, Come what may, Come what may, Come what may- Is that good enough for you?  
  
Rufus: Yeah, let's just end it there. I heard The J man has a new Poker table; I want to try it out  
  
Metatron: Are you so dense as to believe the Lord doesn't know what your cards are?  
  
Rufus: Maybe? Maybe not but in the grand-  
  
Metatron: None of your words of wisdom, I don't need anymore pain, I think the song has numbed my emotions  
  
Rufus: Lighten up Metatron! As the good Lord once said-  
  
  
  
Metatron: No more Rufus or I will make sure you're singing that song for the rest of eternity, and what is that?  
  
Rufus: What?  
  
Metatron: That rip in the air?  
  
*Reaches in and pulls out girl*  
  
  
  
Metatron: And who the hell are you?  
  
  
  
Girl: The writer..  
  
Rufus: Look, can you make him shut his big ass mouth?  
  
Girl: No, because that's his character right?  
  
Metatron: The girls got a point Rufus  
  
Rufus: Fine, but can I ask you one thing?  
  
Girl: Sure, anything you want!  
  
  
  
Rufus: Remember back in the first episode you wrote? Well, would you really screw Bartleby if he had a dick?  
  
  
  
Girl: NO! I told you no! Only if I was getting something from it would I even consider it. Or if I was desperate.  
  
Rufus: So if they, and me, came back in a later episode and he had a dick would chaos ensue?  
  
Girl: Maybe.  
  
Rufus: Just wondering. well you can put her back Metatron!  
  
Metatron: At ease Sparky. Look, if you're available next Tuesday I have a nice little mission you could go on-  
  
Girl: I don't do Holy crusades; they're bad for my social life  
  
Metatron: Very well then  
  
*Throws girl back in void*  
  
Metatron: Such a nice girl. So you were kidding when you said all that stuff right?  
  
Rufus: ..  
  
Metatron: Oh well, make an' interesting episode that's for sure.  
  
Rufus: Let's get out of here  
  
Metatron: Amen to that  
  
Rufus: Stop saying that  
  
Metatron: What?  
  
Rufus: Amen to that!  
  
Metatron: OK, keep your pants on  
  
Rufus: That won't be a problem  
  
Metatron: Ha ha 


End file.
